Jumping spider (5:1), Heesch, Netherlands

This image stirs up an internal dilemma. It's the first subject I intentionally killed just for the sake of photographing it. I feel quite bad about it, it's not really me, or my style.

I do understand that it's hypocritical and perhaps disproportionate to be overly emotional about it. I've probably killed thousands of arthropods completely unknowing, simply by walking. I also regularly kill flies and mosquitos with no remorse. Those in the business of studying arthropods, sacrifice them with ease. And on an even bigger scale, the resources needed to supply my lifestyle probably displaces millions of insects, given their vast numbers.

So it is melodramatic, yet the emotional angle is strong. This one was happily hopping along in the garden and made the fatal mistake of meeting me. Even more screwed up is that I greatly admire the animal. And as emotions are irrational, it feels bad mostly because we think jumping spiders are cute. They sure look cute, yet are merciless predators. A house fly is no problem for me though. It even brings satisfaction to kill one. Because those are not cute.

I don't have a final position. I don't judge others who do this yet do judge myself. I prefer not to do this but won't promise I never will. And when I will, I will always disclose it.

Anyway, to make matter worse, I'm unable to ID it.