Hoatzin, Sani Lodge, Ecuador

As were exploring Sani Lodge surroundings after arriving, I could not help but be fascinated by a bird I was hoping to see here: the Hoatzin. Our guide as well as local Sani Lodge staff was dismissive of my excitement, probably because it is so common here.

To correct this wrong, here follows a letter of appreciation to the Hoatzin, and why it is the best bird ever:

1. There is nothing comparable to a Hoatzin. Not only is it the only in its genus and family, taxonomists even had to make up an entirely new order just to place this single bird in. Hence, the world of birds is split into Hoatzins and “other flying things that have absolutely nothing in common with Hoatzins, and we’re not sure about the flying either”.

2. Where simple-minded birds eat fruits and insects for efficient feeding, Hoatzins take the wise and slow approach. They eat leaves and wait for them to be digested, like a cow.

3. Hoatzins have a unique way of flying, a jump-flap-crash sequence, but a crash landing is still a landing. Often, a Hoatzin might attempt to fly and then suddenly reconsiders. "I might as well stay here to digest". A showcase of intelligence and efficiency.

4. Hoatzins are social animals, just like old married couples. They are often found in couples or triplets loudly arguing. They are communicators, unlike other birds that only make a sound when they want sex.

5. Where the typical bird chick just like human babies can only cry and shit, Hoatzin offspring have claws on their wings, similar to bats. They can even swim.

6. Hoatzins are caring parents. They throw up semi-digested leaf pulp straight into their babies’ face, whilst human babies reverse this method.

7. Hoatzins have an effective tactic to avoid predation: they smell so badly that nobody is interested. They have a disagreeable odor.

8. Hoatzins are beautiful. Pick one feature you like in a bird. The Hoatzin will have it, along with every other feature.